wild for to hold

So, this week has been a total mixed bag.

1) The new meds are great so far, I have no side effects that I've noticed and we're probably increasing the dose again next week and see how that feels for me! This weekend I am also experimenting (with my psychiatrist's approval) with taking only about half of my sleep medication. We shall see if that makes it easier to get out of bed in the morning. \o/

2) On Wednesday, my mother called to let me know that we will soon lose the house aka my childhood home, because the landlord and his family want to move in. oof. I am still in shock, I think. It hasn't fully sunk in yet. My mother is dealing with this like a champ--she has an apartment viewing tomorrow & has found a moving company she'll hire when the time comes, and she's started decluttering her things. I am really surprised, in a good way, by how well she's doing with this. She's doing better than I am, I think, which is just. Incredible. I'm really proud of her.

As for me, well, I'm working on it. The therapist I'm seeing at the hospital suggested taking some sort of keepsake from the house before my mom has to gtfo of there for good, like a pebble or a branch or something. I really like this idea.

3) I put a huge amount of oat milk into my coffee, which means I then have to heat the whole mug back up to make it palatable. Just an hour ago, when I was watching the mug spin slowly in the microwave, I was attacked by a Steve/Bucky plot bunny:

Shrinkyclinks, post-TWS AU in which Bucky has broken through the brainwashing and is now working for SHIELD with the other Avengers. He has body issues out the ass, and resents his metal arm and his body for having been used as a weapon against his will. His therapist suggests attending a life-drawing class as a model to start learning how to see his body differently. He balks at that--too many people--but he does find an ad on Craigslist in which an artist is looking for a model for one-on-one life-drawing sessions. That artist, of course, is non-serum!Steve. Bucky is like, "fuck it, yolo," and messages him. [eyes emoji]

4) On Sunday I am going for a walk with H., a fellow patient from the program! Eeeek. Must relearn how to socialize outside of the hospital, lol. I hope the weather holds up. We're supposed to get torrential rain here over the weekend.