Happy New Year!

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 11:04:26 GMT

So, it's 2024! Wow! My first association with this number is "I dropped out of uni 10 years ago." Go figure.

• Life has been somewhat stressful lately, but overall I'm doing well. I am taking my second advanced Swedish class, the better to converse with my godmother, and it's a lot of fun and a lot of work. The final exam is some time at the end of January. I've started studying and so far the work load seems manageable. Currently, I'm on winter break. My next class is next Wednesday. I'm very excited to have some time off.

• I have acquired a horrible ship (Mohg/Miquella from Elden Ring, I blame the canonical half-sibling incest on George R. R. Martin's writing) and my roommate and I are writing an RP! This is the first time since high school that I've RPed, and it's exciting and somewhat new. I also tried to play the game again, with mixed results. Fromsoft games are perhaps not entirely my cup of tea, although I do love watching others play them. My main take-away from watching Jacksepticeye's series is that bleed builds are ridiculous and fun.

• The anniversary of my father's death is coming up this Sunday, and I think I might spend the day watching winter sports--he loved skiing of all kinds--and knitting, and lighting a candle for him, and perhaps calling my mom. It's going to be very cozy.

• Some time this year, I will attend a local outpatient program of intensive psychotherapy. I do not know exactly when yet, but hopefully I'll find out soon (the wait list is ridiculously long). I'm a bit wary of the stress of having to leave the house every day and be somewhere that's not at home every day, but I also feel optimistic. Perhaps this will help me get my feet under me a bit more.

• In other OCD-related news, I HAVE CUT & HANDLED RAW CHICKEN TWICE in the past week. Twice! And once with my BARE HANDS and while, yes, I did wash my hands afterwards, I didn't wash them obsessively, and I didn't douse the entire kitchen in disinfecting spray. \o/ I am ridiculously proud of myself for this. The resulting food ended up being delicious too. I've had a definite uptick of intrusive thoughts and fears over this, but so far, I've been able to handle it. And the sheer VICTORY of eating chicken that I HELPED PREPARE has got me really excited to try more chicken-related recipes.

That is all for now! Thank you for reading. I've missed blogging, and really want to get back into it. And yes, I know I say that all the time. xD

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Wed, 02 Feb 2022 19:57:38 GMT

I. We finished watching Deep Space Nine--all 7 seasons! Woop woop! I'm both happy and sad. Somewhat relieved that it's over because especially S6+7 had some persistent bits I didn't like, but also sad because... whatever will we do with our evenings now?! (We still have a very full to watch list. We'll find something.)

II. I bought 2 skeins of Drops Soft Tweed in 'grizzly'. Originally I just wanted to make a cowl, but honestly, I am so deeply in love with the color and the feel that I need to make a sweater out of it. It's somewhat brighter than shown on the website & overall just stunning. I cast on the neck band yesterday (using a cast-on method with scrap yarn I've never used before), and I must have tensed up a lot, because this morning my hands were hurting. :'D So I've been resting them today.

III. Writing-wise, I am working on & dabbling in:
• a mid-episode Garashir thing for Dr. Bashir I Presume (5x16)
• two post-The Wire (2x22) one-shots
• extremely self-indulgent de-aging fic
• something about Garak, Julian, nightmares, and sharing a bed
• a Julian-and-Jadzia one-shot
• Weyoun 6 fic
This is just what happens when I'm enamored with a new fandom! I'm really excited about the first one; I'd say the first draft is about 60% finished. Most of it just exploded out of me over the past 2 weeks. I have now reached the parts that are a bit tougher to write, plus some anxiety is catching up with me & I wonder if I have the skill to create this thing the way I want it to be. I'm going to keep at it and hope for the best.

IV. I bought a book the other day--an actual paperback book: Spares by Michael Marshall Smith. I read it for the first time during middle school and became totally obsessed with the story! I remember the book very fondly, and I'm excited to see what I think of it now, about 15 years later. Back then I was vaguely annoyed with the ending, I think, though I can't recall any details, and I'm excited to see what I'll make of it this time around.

In some ways it feels like reading an entirely new book. I don't remember a whole lot, and I've now bought the English edition, whereas I read a German translation as a teenager.

V. Earlier today I was feeling a little down on myself, and stumbled across a TED talk by cmdr_hadfield: What I Learned From Going Blind In Space. I highly recommend it to absolutely everyone, regardless of whether you find astronauts interesting. There were so many great quotes, but my favorite by far was, 'The danger is entirely different than the fear.' Very applicable to my struggle with OCD. I'm so grateful to have found this quote, and such a calm, uplifting message, somewhere I hadn't thought to look for support. <3

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wild for to hold

Happy New Year!

5 things make a post